When you were a little kid, did you put your parents on a pedestal? I think I did because I had such wonderful parents! They stood tall, were well known, made the most out of everything. They were Untouchable and the Warriors of the Universe, the Soldiers that guarded you and would never let harm come your way. The sun radiated around them and they brought a smile to everyone's face. As a little kid you think that nothing could ever happen to them because you raised that pedestal so high and cast it in gold.
But somewhere over the years, you become too busy and move on with things in life. You might even start families of your own, start new careers, move out of the state or even the country. You take things into your own hands and don't realize that some where along the line that you have grown up. You realize that the things that mattered the most as a child, don't even exist anymore. Then the day comes, the one that you never expect could ever happen, and you get that one phone call...
Now this call can be anything - sickness, disease, accident, cancer, death! No matter what IT is, it's the call that flips your whole world upside down and sends you into a whirlwind of emotions. The shock that THIS has happened, the anger that nothing was done sooner to prevent it from happening, the helplessness that you feel because there is nothing you can do or you're so far away. In the mix of all these emotions you realize that the pedestal is no longer there! What happened to the pedestal? You realize that the pedestal has fallen and turned into the stones beneath your feet!
You would give anything to collect the stones and build that pedestal back up. Even if it meant just one more moment of life, or no sickness, no diseases, and no accidents! You wonder if you had payed more attention, that it wouldn't have happened. You might even feel like you have let them down! They did everything in life to keep you safe and there comes a time when the rolls reverse, and it is now your turn to become the Warriors and Soldiers and take care of them. You wish you could scoop them up and tell them everything is going to be ok and no harm will ever come their way. You want to put them back on top of that pedestal and hope that they will once again radiate the sunshine, and nothing will ever happen to them. Most of all, that no matter what happens, you will always LOVE them and cherish them. You will hold on to the memories, and promise to keep the pedestal standing for as long as they may need it.
I don't even know if this makes sense anymore, or if it's just rambling... the lack of sleep and whirlwind of emotions are taking their toll on me. I guess I should just call it a night, seeing how it's almost 4am here.
Until next time ...
Sara
3 comments:
Beautifully said. I understand completely.
I know exactly what you are talking about. I like the analogy of the pedestal. I've received a call like that. Turn your world as a child upside down. The if only's begin...she should have quit smoking years ago...or lost weight. Hit with multiple levels of guilt! Then the responsibility of care and finance. The balance of patience and understanding. All while trying to keep the perspective that you are still their child. Let me tell you I've been living this for 10 years. Through all of this, I have realized that I still am blessed. I will pray for you. Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.
Having been there I know how you feel. It is one of the toughest things to see parents decline, and not be the pillars that they had been. (((hugs)))
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